Welcome

I had recently finished washed my clothes. Manually. Because hmmm i just thought that i had only  a few of dirty clothes, and it is going to be waste if i use mashine. Waste money, and electricity!! ( I really dont like to waste electricity(!) because this electricity energy can be saved to be use in the future)

So that is it for my introduction lol. ( i just want to share a brief things about im doing currently and basically it is just a quick update)

Disclaimer: I think this post will be boring. I guess. This time i dont have a specific things that i have to confess. I just want to give a small update about myself riding my life as a university student.

Okayyy

Emmm how to start ha..

Okay, i just thought that this week is quite good. Oh btw i've already finished my period, so this time the hormones thingy not going to bother me emotionally (i hope).

 I had realised that my confident level and self esteem is rising right now. In some classes, i managed to perform well. I dont being that shy student. Every time my lecturer ask a question to the whole classes, i just randomly speak my answers confidently when the rest of my classmate are quiet, and basically i just answered the question without thinking that it will be wrong or not, and thinking that at least i tried.

This week also, i managed to go to class without being nervous ( i dont know why i have to be nervous basically no reason). I go to class confidently with my friend, S.

Then, based on my post before this, i talked about i had trouble having conversation with people. But in this week, somehow i had improved a little bit in my speaking. I dont feel nervous when i talk to a particular person. I also dont even feel scared that the conversation might be dull at the end, ( as i usually feel) instead i feel confident to start the conversation and even end it well. I'm so proud of myself!!

But today i want to highlight something. This improvement that i got is basically all from Allah and im sure it is. Based on my story that i had post before, i had a lot of trouble throughout this few days in this new semester. In that day, I've tried to near myself to Allah. I read ma'surat almost every day ( because i am period at that time so thats the only ibadah that i can do). I also go to the mosque in my university almost every Maghrib to calm myself ( at here, when it comes to Maghrib and Isyak prayer, the people who join jemaah was quite a lot. So the imam will sometimes recite a longer surah in their prayer, and i love to hear it while i calming myself)

I also doa a lot to Allah that whatever test that you have give me, i want to request for strength so that i can pass all of this. And i know people say that, if Allah had given you a test, are maybe because Allah miss you.....

Allah wants to hear your voice and want you to make a doa from Him. Allah wants you to noticed Him maybe because you had forgotten him quite a long time.

And here i was, i came back to Allah..
I tell Him every things that sadden me and makes me angry.
I tell Him my story.
I request and make a lot of doa from him.

Now Alhamdulillah, Allah help me to slowly rise back and stand strong. He is the one who give me strength to go through all my problems throughout the day.

In the meantime, i am still struggling to improve myself to become a better person. A stronger person. And a braver person. I believe Allah will help me for my journey to become a better person.

Im also kinda try to control my temper, so that i wont be angry easily. I want to be as calm and as fearless as ever. I only fear Allah. Because He is the only powerful in this world. He can uplift you but also can degrade you. He is Allah.

May Allah forgive us and bless us. Thank you and have a nice day.

I will call this girl S

I've been friend with this girl since the first day i arrived at my uni. She is my first friend in class. And she is still my friend in class until now because she and i will always go anywhere together in any class session.

But, in the end of sem 1, she and i somehow close to this two girl in my class who is already bestfriend to each other. At first, me and S are close to both of them. But lately, it is just S who really becoming quite close to them and i am not. Hmm i dont how that happen but somehow it just happen.
But i thought that it was already in the end of sem 1 so i just let that thing go.

Now, in sem 2. Things become more.... S become more close to both of them that somehow at this one point i feel forgottrn by own bestfriend? I mean, i only have S  as my best friend in that class. She also always help me and sometimes being the place for me to ask question about academic. But now i am quite afraid that i will lose her.

okay hold on

I know this sounds childish, and you might be thinking only primary school kids did all this things. But you have to admit it, that you will also get jealous when someone else try to take away the person you loved and hoped the most. And right now this is my case, it is my friend.

to be truth, i dont want to be childish. I dont want to even bother thinking about this silly matter ( i should be doing my assignment by now but instead i am confessing my problems here). But sometimes i couldnt stop thinking about it. I mean, it is only A WEEK i have been here. A WEEK. How i want to survive for the rest of my semester 2 when i keep thinking that S will get bored at me and left me and being friend with that two girl??!! LOL MUCH (i know i am emotional on thing i shouldnt be)

But alhamdulillah you know. I still have my housemates as my friend. Whenever i feel bad at class, i will go back to my hostel  and spend some time with my housemate and insya- Allah, i will forget abou the bad things that happen in class. I also still have my high school friend, we still contact each other through whatsapp group. And that group is always busy with their chatting and i love it :) Also, of course, my family. There are my friends, my blessing and my everything. What ever bad thing happen here at my uni, when i go back home, i become fresh and new again that somehow i just forgot about all the things that bother me.

Hhhahahaah guess what this is still foundation doooo and i've already feel bothered like hell. What will happen probably when i pursue in degree???.....I PROBABLY DEAD HAHAH

No lah, im just kidding. Allah is always with me. He is with me through all the thin and thick of my life. He knows the best of me. He never test me beyond what i can't handle. It means that every problem that i mm facing right now, i can go through it. I believe with Allah.

That is all for today. Have a nice day everyone.Always believe that Allah is indeed will be with you if you put your trust on Him. Alhamdulillah and Adios!

I am currently watching a Youtube Video about chemistry. It is about a rate of reaction, it is my chemistry chapter 1 (lol why I even tell you guys about this..)

Moving on!

Okay. I'm just going to call this girl as T

In sem 1, I am quite close to this girl. She somehow is like me. Childish but at the sometimes serious. We also like to talk a lot about things and issues. We both seem to quite "click" to each other even though she is not my roommate.

Then, here comes sem 2. Things seem not quite right. I somehow become quite awkward with her for no reason?? I mean, why can it even happen. We are so close back then in sem 1, and we did not see each other only for 1 month and a few weeks (semester break), but things become so different right now.

I am not very comfortable when I speak to her
I don't know what to speak to her.
I somehow want to get away from her.

What is happening to me...

This sounds very ridiculous, and it somehow bothers me. Well, because it is my housemate. We see each other, and when things like this happen, I certainly cannot avoid not seeing her. Btw, I love this friendship. It bothers me that I cannot talk comfortably with her anymore. And to be worse, I can also sense that awkwardness from her too!

Sometimes I think, why I bother myself thinking about gaining attention from someone that is not even important? I mean, why I can't focus on people that stay with me along the way? Yess that is the thing I should do. Maybe there is hikmah that Allah wants to show. I also should focus more on people that always try to keep me happy. I maybe not have a lot of friends but I have a lot of blessing that Allah give to me. It is some kind of friends, but in another form or maybe in a different form of reward. Maybe it is my family, my health, my family's stable financial, my good achievement in academic. There's a lot of it, and maybe some of them I don't even realize.

That is why we should be thankful and grateful. Say Alhamdulillah every day. Because Allah is very very fair. You could say that you are not lucky. But actually, you just do not see the bigger picture of yourself and realize that you are actually lucky. Some people want the thing that you have, yet you did not appreciate it.

That is it. There is azan Johor right now. So, may God bless you and helps you to lead a better life with being thankful every day. Amin.

Today I encounter this one video. This video is about being grateful.

The video talks about be grateful of all the things that you have. We humans always think differently. We often focus more on trying to have the things that we don't have and somehow neglect all of the blessing and good things that Allah has already given to us

As for me right now, I am feeling quite sad as I can't really make a lot of friends. I don't know how to talk so enjoy and make the conversation leading somewhere ( i always end up making the conversation look dull). People also often choose to not talk to me ( i mean I don't know I just feel like it hehe)

But when I watched the video, I reflect back to myself. I still have friends you know. (even though I still don't have someone that I really can call as a best friend where I could be really comfortable with them)but still, I have friends and they also act well as a friend. They always help me, tell me stories, people that I can laugh with (even though they know that I'm not good at conversation but they still try to do that) and right now after I think back, I am really really grateful. I love my friends..they help me whenever i need them and still want to be my friends

And also being grateful is not about this. there's lot more to be grateful for. But these are something that i want to highlight about as today is my first day to go to class.

So that is all. Assalamulaikum and have a good day everyone.

Guys, I just want to be real and honest.

I am an awkward person.

I don't know why but whenever I'm being alone with somebody either male or female, either I know that person or not... I will end up being awkward and being so speechless, even with my own best friend that I really enjoy talking to! (everyone except my mother! hmmm she always makes me comfortable in any way that possible )
This situation also goes the same when I need to do work, that needs me to pair with someone.

Anybody emmm.. feels the same?

I MEAN I DONT KNOW WHYY IM BEING LIKE THIS

I will be so speechless, so embarrassed with no reasons. And things get worse when the other person gets awkward because of my awkwardness and basically the whole situation will be SUPER AWKWARD LOL

I really want to change this. I cannot blame anyone for this matter

Also, I'm maybe getting jealous with those type of people that can be talking comfortably and cheerfully with almost everyone.. while me, I always get anxious when I talk one to one to person because I was like "what I'm going to talk next ha? think please! " and basically I was brainstorming just to talk to somebody?! WHAT

But sometimes I thought, being jealous is not the solution. It will only bring your self-esteem to drop even lower. That is why I'm here writing, expressing what I could express and while doing that, I want to motivate myself. Sometimes writing helps you to release all of the burdens from inside of you ( besides from praying to Allah, do that too okay my dear friends * reminder to self too* )

With this kind of trouble, I always don't feel happy whenever I want to go back to to my school or uni ( I'm currently studying in uni for foundations). I'm was afraid that my friends are not happy being around me because I'm not a good friend that can cheer them and talk a lot to them. I will always be the boring one and the one that is left ( this is only my thoughts actually, to be exact I'm just afraid that they're going to leave me that's all lol)

I never talk to anyone about my problems because this is basically a small problem, and I don't think they can help me because literally, they cannot  understand my situation

And also, I'm always afraid to join my friend to go hang out because of my "awkwardness" problem...

Any people out there that probably reading this, hope you can comment if you also had the same situation as me. This helps me to know that I'm not alone.

And maybe you might want to help with giving some advice and any motivation words.

So that is it for today. Have a blast everyone!💖

(i may not be a good writer, to be honest, I just basically write what I want to write *melancholic tone* )

*singing Mengintai dari Tirai Kamar by Exist's*

Disclaimer: I am not sponsored *but I hope I will one day, maybe by the company product that  I reviewed. I mean- hey don't worry I'm going to be honest hehehehe *

Hey people!

So, today I'm basically going to do a review for Aiken Tea Tree Oil product (well obviously by the title)

Oh yes, for the people who were wondering what is my age, well I'm 18! The year where everything becomes legal (literally). Under 18 No Fear! ( my favourite comic btw hehehehe)

So being a teenager, skincare becomes more vital than usual. As this were the time where our hormones become "chaotic", and basically this is what happens: acne

By this time, we really really need a good product. So here it is, Aiken Tree Tea Oil. Note that the product I'm talking right now is the pure oil, not the cleanser, not the toner, not everything, only the oil.

Guess what,

THIS PRODUCT WORKS WONDER ON ME!

 (this has somehow become the conclusion of these products xD. Lol because most of the times people will search for the product's review just to know if the product working or not... so far for this one, it definitely work honey! )

My acne problem is that I have this a lot of bumps on my forehead also known as tiny bumps ( my forehead were full of it and it was tremendously hideous! )
And what I like about this product is that it is an oil, so I can put a lot of these products on my palm and basically spread it all over my forehead. Believe me, after around 2 weeks my forehead becomes quite clear and the bumps were reduced quite a lot.

For the case of that big ugly acne, it takes a little bit longer to heal compared to the bumps. But it still heals it.

Plus, in some cases, when I feel itchy around certain places on my faces, I quickly put the oil on that place and poof! the itchiness becomes quite less. How? Read next.

If you are curious about what actually this tree tee oil properties, it was an anti-fungal natural ingredient. It basically kills/ weakens the growth of bacteria, as you know acne are build from bacteria, dirt, oil and dead skin cells that were accumulated in our pores. As I said, this tree tea oil is a natural ingredient, so (InsyaAllah) it is safe to be put on our skin. Btw, if you want to know more about the tree tea oil benefits, you can simply Google it. I also had read a lot of articles about the benefits of the tree tea oil, before I decided to buy this Aiken Tree Tea Oil.

Am I going to purchase it again?
Definitely. (mine already reach the bottom of the bottle xD)

Btw, it only cost me for about RM10 as far as I can remember ( i have already bought it a few months ago, so I can't precisely remember the price)

The Body Shop store also sell it as far I know but maybe it will be a quite more expensive than Aiken ( you can check it by yourself if you're interested)

That is all for my review. If you have anything to ask just leave it in the comment box, InsyaAllah I will be answering it. Thank you for taking the time to read my humble opinion hehe. Have a nice day y'all. May God bless us.


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Hey people!

For people who might not know, BAWAL and SHAWL is a type of scarf ( i explain this because I expect that maybe some of the readers are not from Malaysia or Indonesian or Singaporean or Bruneian - lol literally I was hoping that this post will be read by any international readers hehe) Btw I am Malaysian in case you were asking.

Next, straight to my point why I suddenly want to make this post.

I just want to share which one this type of scarf that I really prefer. The truth is, I wear it according to my mood.

BAWAL - I will wear it when I have to meet someone that needs me to have a good appearance.

This reason is quite lol I guess. I don't know. But bawal scarf suits my face shape the best. And by the way, I am a specky. So when I wear bawal scarf, the spectacles seems quite suitable to style with those type of scarves that have ' roof' (lol) - btw you can google this bawal scarf images in case you did not know ( i just low key wishing; again; perhaps there is an international reader xD ). Then, I will feel confident because lol I think I am pretty when wearing bawal hehe

How I style it: I feel it is suitable to wear with any cotton material cloths- shirts, hoodies, cotton baju kurung

Example: when I go to class, to interviews

Next,

SHAWL: I will wear it when I am with people who make me feel comfortable ( people that I'm brave enough to show my own true-self)

Hmmm for this one I could explain it as the opposite for bawal scarf cases. I just feel that I am pretty and ugly at the same times when I wearing shawl hahaha. I mean, first I am specky as I told you. The spectacles kind of ruin my shawl shape ( around my face) and make it less attractive. Second, I feel that shawl makes my head seems a little bit bigger than usual LOL!

 But as I said, I also feel pretty when I wear it simply because shawl scarf seems more stylish that bawal scarf. A lot of famous people also usually chose to wear a shawl rather than bawal. Also the advantage of wearing a shawl, it is to easy to wear compared to bawal! (let's be real girls it is.. xD)

Example: whenever I go out with my family, and my close friends - no matter where it is as long as I am with them ;)

But actually, sometimes I just wear any scarf that I want to wear on that particular times. You know sometimes, people just need to get out of her comfort zone for a little.

So that is it.

Anyway, bawal or shawl has its own pros and cons based on someone's own opinion.

Okay, that is all for my dumb post xD. Basically, this is just my random thoughts and I just feel the need to write it and share it on the internet. Hope you enjoy! And have a nice day anyone and do not forget to perform your prayer (note to self too hehe). Bonne Nuit!

Share it to your dearest friend if you guys thought this post is interesting ;)