I had recently finished washed my clothes. Manually. Because hmmm i just thought that i had only  a few of dirty clothes, and it is going to be waste if i use mashine. Waste money, and electricity!! ( I really dont like to waste electricity(!) because this electricity energy can be saved to be use in the future)

So that is it for my introduction lol. ( i just want to share a brief things about im doing currently and basically it is just a quick update)

Disclaimer: I think this post will be boring. I guess. This time i dont have a specific things that i have to confess. I just want to give a small update about myself riding my life as a university student.

Okayyy

Emmm how to start ha..

Okay, i just thought that this week is quite good. Oh btw i've already finished my period, so this time the hormones thingy not going to bother me emotionally (i hope).

 I had realised that my confident level and self esteem is rising right now. In some classes, i managed to perform well. I dont being that shy student. Every time my lecturer ask a question to the whole classes, i just randomly speak my answers confidently when the rest of my classmate are quiet, and basically i just answered the question without thinking that it will be wrong or not, and thinking that at least i tried.

This week also, i managed to go to class without being nervous ( i dont know why i have to be nervous basically no reason). I go to class confidently with my friend, S.

Then, based on my post before this, i talked about i had trouble having conversation with people. But in this week, somehow i had improved a little bit in my speaking. I dont feel nervous when i talk to a particular person. I also dont even feel scared that the conversation might be dull at the end, ( as i usually feel) instead i feel confident to start the conversation and even end it well. I'm so proud of myself!!

But today i want to highlight something. This improvement that i got is basically all from Allah and im sure it is. Based on my story that i had post before, i had a lot of trouble throughout this few days in this new semester. In that day, I've tried to near myself to Allah. I read ma'surat almost every day ( because i am period at that time so thats the only ibadah that i can do). I also go to the mosque in my university almost every Maghrib to calm myself ( at here, when it comes to Maghrib and Isyak prayer, the people who join jemaah was quite a lot. So the imam will sometimes recite a longer surah in their prayer, and i love to hear it while i calming myself)

I also doa a lot to Allah that whatever test that you have give me, i want to request for strength so that i can pass all of this. And i know people say that, if Allah had given you a test, are maybe because Allah miss you.....

Allah wants to hear your voice and want you to make a doa from Him. Allah wants you to noticed Him maybe because you had forgotten him quite a long time.

And here i was, i came back to Allah..
I tell Him every things that sadden me and makes me angry.
I tell Him my story.
I request and make a lot of doa from him.

Now Alhamdulillah, Allah help me to slowly rise back and stand strong. He is the one who give me strength to go through all my problems throughout the day.

In the meantime, i am still struggling to improve myself to become a better person. A stronger person. And a braver person. I believe Allah will help me for my journey to become a better person.

Im also kinda try to control my temper, so that i wont be angry easily. I want to be as calm and as fearless as ever. I only fear Allah. Because He is the only powerful in this world. He can uplift you but also can degrade you. He is Allah.

May Allah forgive us and bless us. Thank you and have a nice day.