The worst is that I cannot tell anybody about it. Even to my parents. I am not that kind that tells every story and problem to them. I deal with my teenage problem. 

And I know particularly I am in confusion. I want to pursue my studies in Japan. But I just don't believe myself that I can do it. WHY MUST I THOUGHT LIKE THAT.

I mean..I also give myself a little thought about Japan. I don't like sushi. I never enjoyed watching japan drama or anime. 

But this opportunity only comes once in a while. I didn't have this opportunity after SPM. But now I scored 4 flat...I DIDNT GRAB THE OPPORTUNITY just become I am not confident with myself??!!

What the heck. I am coward kan I know 

I am afraid that I cannot able to study Japan language excellently. (I suck in learning languages)  This will eventually lead to bigger problem obviously. All the lectures and assignment will be in their language and if at the first place I don't understand anything about what I learn, you know what happens

DISASTER! TERROR!

I am helpless and .. (homagad I am such a negative people)