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This is legit the most intense and most panic moment in my life that ever happened to me...


I neverrr wow...i still cant believe i ve being chased by freaking TWO DOGS!

okay luckily i am with anne.

everything starts when we want to go the mcd. Mcd here is very near to college so apalagi kan ofcos selalu pergi. Lol everything went well bual2 pasal fixi anne and stuff.. Then keluar gate, tengah jalan2 pastu i tilt my head to the back and i see A DOG. panic at first but then i see the dog went inside the bushes. So i was like mehh we're safe..

BUT FU*K

it came back with another dog. buat comeback pulak anjing ni.

Lol here me and anne start to panic. I try to scare the dog a bit okays sumpah time ni cam org gila. dahla kat tepi jalan kete banyak ramai orang dok tengok aku "HAAA HAA" kat anjing. hmmm redho

the dog stop and then we try to run BUT FU*K AGAIN DIA KEJAR.

sumpah aku benci anjing. tulah selalu carut anjing sekali betol keluar tubik anjing depan mata.

then we both resort tu buat kerja gile lagi. we decide to cross the BIG FU*KIN ROAD where it heads to Kulai, where every car there drive so fast...but still decide to cross (eh hello tu tengah saat genting hidup dan mati!!)

then we cross the road.... jalan lagi then lintas lagi sekali balik semula untuk ke mcd.

OKAY SELAMAT. tapi cuak dia waktu tu hanya Allah je tahu. But seriously i need to thank God on this. I kinda escape death by
1. Did not get attack by fu*king 2 dogs
2. did not get hit by any cars

alhamdulillah weh

when we reached there lol me and anne dont have moods anymore to eat. we kinda like lost focus and try to retain back to consciousness that WE WERE ACTUALLY SAFE.

We have a lot of silent moment lol kinda awkward but as i say I AM AWKWARD

i try laught it off a lot of time because situation kinda intense. we were both kinda have  slight trauma lol... even though masing2 cam taknak ngaku lagi2 anne.

Lol speaking about anne. she's the one who was so hungry before then after all this incidents, she kinda lost her appetite XD lol poor her..She rarely see dogs  actually so technically she is more traumatized than i am hahahahah.

we were still in "traumatized" mood smpai ke kolej sekalipon. then after we go apart to our respective college. lol i hope everything okay.

it kinda crazy that it is only been 3 months i am in my uni but i have experienced A LOT OF THINGS PAHIT MANIS SEMUA ADA  especially with anne. i have a lot of things happen with anne. hmmmmmm now i 'm thinking is she okay friending with me..


im kinda noob and saddening you know.. and senang gelabah lol

BUT AS I SAID BEFORE!

love yourself first. kisah ape dia nak fikir aku ape. aku jadi diri aku lah.

sukahati dia nak kawan dengan sape, im still with my personality and my stand, and dont even try to change me.

I AM WHO I AM.

bye, signing out.





















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okay.
from where we should start?
there is a lot of things I want to rant. when I say a lot. IT IS a lot

First of all, I already making friends in my uni. I would just name her as Anne. Okay, she's funny happy seems very click to me. But... just but.... she seems to be very bad-tempered and always tells you to do this instead of this...questioning every act you do, which is very contrary with my new concept (that I try to implement myself with) which is do whatever we pleased and don't fcking try to please other people just because they said so because this is our life, we should be the one who controls it, we are the one that needs to face it one day NOT THEM.

And you know... I am quite blur.. which I really hate... I wish I could be more cepat pickup i don't want people to think me as lumbar... NO IM NOT. need to fix this... So this girl keeps scolding me for being a blur...:( I mean I love her to be my friends.. but to always constantly being scolded in front of people makes you.. done? hmmm. Compared to my last friend they are quite patient and just laugh it off about my 'blurriness', so at that time I really feel comfortable and does not feel embarrassed about my blurriness, I know that there are people who always supporting me despite my weakness and I just accept who I am and this makes me confident. Contrast to my situations right now

I want to be with someone that I can feel confident with, I want to be with someone that can uplift me and helps me with my weakness. but today's situation is.. meh.

so right now I quite don't know what to do. am I still want to be friend with her? and if I'm not, whom will I friend with?(hmm you have A LOT of choice, friends is EVERYWHERE don't be afraid to find new friends, don't just because of afraid not having friends you are stuck in toxic relationship :(  be strong and do what's best for you, it is you have to bear it, don't make you feel regret at the end of the day) does it not be super awkward if I suddenly want to distance myself ( I MEAN HELLO SHE SHOULD KNOW WHY.. because of her attitude!)


I sometimes feel awkward with her,, don't know why can't explain. i mean i am awkward myself... so i kind of pity her for getting me as her friends because she seems so friendly and not awkward at all... and then there is me...feeling awkward all the time until she has to face it too lol

i also find myself distracted from my studies thinking about this friends matter. i constantly think about why we are so awkward, the hurtful words she has thrown at me, the moment she scolded me... IT BUGGING ME i mean i should be studying!!!! this is such a simple matter and i should not think about this! NOO

i sometimes find myself agitated especially when it comes to dinner, sometimes i need to eat dinner only with her. so like before going, i feel so worried that it might be going to be awkward at the table waiting for our food LOLLLL i know right i am a fool.

i mean TRUTHFULLY i love her being my friend like she is so funny, there is some moment i find myself smiling alone thinking back about our jokes together and stuff .... but still this whole uncomfortable situation with her disturb me a lot

i have a lot of mission entering uni. i want to be active joining event. i want to be kind. i want to help people as possibles as i could. i don't want to judge people instantly and talk bad about people when actually we don't know the truth. i want to love myself and be myself. i don't want to care about other's judgment. i want to be myself!!! i want to feel confident just wear anything that i want and don't constantly think about others BECAUSE APPARENTLY, people don't give a damn about you.

There are selfish. they have their own business to do too. they have their own problems that keep bugging on their mind too, then so do you!!! just walk whenever you want.just do whatever you want. be confident because they don't look at you!

You are pretty don't belittle yourself, even though Anne has said something bad about you, MAMPOS DIA LAH then. wth i am so worth! who are you to think i am like that. i am the one who know better about myself. I want to have pretty inner and outer. i want to have a beautiful attitude and heart. that is what pretty is about

BE YOURSELF!! LOVE YOURSELF!! if you don't, then who does?? you live on your own right now. It is all you alone. at the end of the day, it is you who have to bear all the situations alone. not with your friends, even though your family and parents. You will be judged by ALLAH, alone..all by yourself. so be independant. at the end of the day, it is you who you can rely on. Only you, so trust yourself.

don't think much about friends. think about you first. make yourself the priorities. JANGAN PIKIR KAWAN PIKIR DIRI SENDIRI DULU.

also yesterday i cut my hair BY MYSELF.. and i turns out UGLY HAHAHAHAHAHAH. it becomes too short lolll. im dumb i know, people do mistakes. HUMANS do mistakes. Just be proud of your mistake and just try to improve and learn your lesson. The world is about improving yourself and find your strength. The world is where ALLAH test His hamba, so be strong! Allah is testing you to make you a better person inside out.



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the use of social media causes a waste of time. this actually affects student the most. the most users of social media are among students that age around 10-18 years old. even though social media helps them to communicate faster and provides entertainment, a lot of students is misusing it. they become addicted to playing social media until they forgot their responsibility as a student. They did not study well and left their assignment untouched due to excess routine of playing social media.

on top of that, excess usage of playing social media will also badly affect our health. spending too much time looking at our phones and tablet to play social media will cause eye strain. this will affect us in a long-term where our eyes will look tired and our vision starts to be less efficient. Social media users also tend to sleep late at night because the light that from the screen device makes our eyes to be 'awake'. this will interrupt our melatonin secretion in our body thus disturb our sleep routine. this will make us feel tired to start the next day.

next, social media can cause degradation of ethics and social manners among the userbase. People now are being more open and brave to criticize people on the internet publicly because their identity is unknown. this includes the using bad words and throwing negative comments in social media post. this will eventually lead to a cyberbullying case that is now increasing in Malaysia. furthermore, cyberbullying will lead to more serious problem including depression and insomnia. Thus this is why social media produce more negative impact compared to a positive impact


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Hello everyone, we are back to our review skincare section! Let's get straight into it.

So, this product is basically aloe vera in a jar. The company claim that it is 99% similarity from the original aloe vera that comes straight from the leaf. I basically buy this because I cannot plant the aloe vera around my house (my mom definitely will not allow, I am really sure about this and I never been so sure). Aloe vera also is very famous among old Malay folks as it helps in a lot of things. So I will definitely want to feel I need to have one of this amazing natural remedies in my skin care.


I buy it at The Face Shop outlet.  It cost me around RM40 (I buy it during June 2017). But now you can definitely purchase it at any online stores such as Hermo and Lazada at a much cheaper price. This product sits at the second best seller product in The Face Shop (which they had displayed the best seller product in their store)

We commonly know acne scars are dark spots or reddish spot. As aloe vera is a SOOTHING ingredient, it works best on the reddish spots. The reddish spot is the sign that the skin inflamed. So, soothing ingredients is the best.

I buy it to help with healing my scars. It actually helps a bit but not entirely. I've been wearing this product for roughly 1 year and some of the scars back then were faded BUT ONLY FADED. It is still there ;) But some of my new scars are kinda disappearing.

This product also lasts long. Its been quite more than a year I had been wearing it as my moisturizer (now is August 2018). But there is still a quarter of the product left in the container.

Some cons, this product comes in a form of a jar which makes it less hygienic. It also does not come with any spatula to help scoop out the product (oh silly me, look at the price. Don't expect it to be perfect) But, it has a plastic cover under the lid so it helps to secure the product more from the dirty environment outside.


Would I purchase it again? Definitely yes! Even though it does not help entirely with my scars as it only fades it a little, but still I love how this product makes my skin feels calm and relax. Maybe I am not going to use it as my moisturizer again, but I will use it as my sleeping mask!

According to some articles I read about aloe vera gel, it acts as a lot of beauty product. This is some way you could use your aloe vera gel to the fullest.


  • Moisturizing pack
  • Moisturizer
  • Eyepatch
  • Aftershave
  • Sunburn remedy
  • Body Lotion
  • Makeup base
  • Nail essence
  • Hair treatment
  • Hair gel
You can read it in more detail at this website:

10 Ways to Use the Jeju Aloe Soothing Gel

That is it guys and girls! Would like to hear more on your experience using this product! See you guys on another review. Stay curious and confident. May God bless our journey and ease our life. Salam.
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I am having a problem. This might be shameful for me to admit it, as this is not a usual thing to happen among girls.

So here it is the list of things I need to do to stop my problem. Once and for all!

1. Pray to Allah that I can stop this problem( before breaking the fast it is)
2. Do a lot of Taubat prayer
3. Read Al-Quran as much as you can
4. Busied yourself doing things: Ukelele, playing dress up, playing makeup, read books, watch movies
5. Don't see anything sinful
6. Don't sit alone
7. Improve your solat( solat membaiki akhlak diri)
8. Friends with good friends (your friends reflect for who you are)

Until here, this is all my list that I will really make sure that I can do it. I know I can do this. If I really want to make a change to be a better person, Allah will always ready to help me. As long as I have my faith in Him and I never give up on myself. Pray for me.

I also should think of people that along the way that never stop praying to Allah to make sure I will be a good person. People that love me and hope that I will be successful in my life. This problem that I am facing right now is haram, it makes Allah mad. What success will be given by Him to me if I keep making him mad?

I should change. I want Allah's blessing more than anything else in this world. I want to always do good, and be successful in Dunya and akhirah


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I hate myself. I am not mature. I have slight social anxiety.

The worst is that I cannot tell anybody about it. Even to my parents. I am not that kind that tells every story and problem to them. I deal with my teenage problem. 

And I know particularly I am in confusion. I want to pursue my studies in Japan. But I just don't believe myself that I can do it. WHY MUST I THOUGHT LIKE THAT.

I mean..I also give myself a little thought about Japan. I don't like sushi. I never enjoyed watching japan drama or anime. 

But this opportunity only comes once in a while. I didn't have this opportunity after SPM. But now I scored 4 flat...I DIDNT GRAB THE OPPORTUNITY just become I am not confident with myself??!!

What the heck. I am coward kan I know 

I am afraid that I cannot able to study Japan language excellently. (I suck in learning languages)  This will eventually lead to bigger problem obviously. All the lectures and assignment will be in their language and if at the first place I don't understand anything about what I learn, you know what happens

DISASTER! TERROR!

I am helpless and .. (homagad I am such a negative people)
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High school

College
LACK OF GOOD APPEARANCE

 (selekeh)
QUITE WELL DRESSED

 (need more confident to dress up but it is a good head start)

DON’T LIKE TO SEEM BEING ALONE,

resulting myself to depend on my friend to go anywhere. I want to seem cool. Lol, now I just thought the hell is not cool being alone. Everyone has their own life, they don't want to know pon lah pasal kau haish..

CAN BE ALONE BRAVELY

I can go anywhere myself without waiting on people (this is the thing that I proud the most)

A LITTLE BIT OFF WHEN DOING PRESENTATION,

 I don’t feel confident because even though I speak confidently during presentation, my audience during high school is awful. They stare in puzzlement at you and making bad jokes..

REALLY CONFIDENT IN PRESENTATION

I really appreciate my audience here in college. There are much mature and I can feel that they were really interested in the presentation. I also feel very confident because I can speak English quite well compared to my other classmates.

RUDE WITH TEACHERS AND SENIORS
RESPECT MY LECTURER

But still shy

ALWAYS CURSING
NOT CURSING (ALMOST)

DON’T HAVE TRUE BEST FRIEND

I friends in group. A group of eight. Whenever I have problems, I don’t really know whom to ask for help, as none of them are really close to me… we just you know, some of us happened to be friend just because that one people friend with another friend, so we altogether being friend.  But don’t get me wrong, I REALLY LOVE THEM. They make a good friend, they always make me laugh and happy. But I just don’t have that one friend that I can truly having deep conversation with

I HAVE MY OWN TRULY BEST FRIEND!!

I really love her. I truly am. I always say to Allah how kind of Him to set her up as my friend. Alhamdulillah. I share almost everything with her. I go whenever with her. I feel safe with her. How I really looking forward to have that one friend where I can be myself…and here she is.
NOT MATURE, LIKE TO SEEK ATTENTION

I do fool stuff just to look cute in front of juniors and boy. FUCK. And in fact none of them think I am cute, more to the stupid senior/girl
I know I am pretty fuvk up kan dulu.

KNOW HOW TO CONTROL MYSELF

I don’t do fool stuff just to gain respect from people
THROWING MYSELF AT BOYS

Lol zaman gatal. I wish I can erase that part of my life. I literally always find a way to talk to boys. To think back at it again, I am pretty sure I look dumb in front of them. Furthermore, I am awkward okay. The fact that I am awkward but still make effort to mingle around boys is fuck up ergh
FUCK OFF BOYS

My class only have 9 boys. I don’t give a damn about talking to them. They can go to hell. I only talk to them about works.
DEPENDANT

But at this time, at least I know how to iron clothes and do laundry on my own
MORE INDEPENDENT

I know how to cash out my money. How to on the mobile hotspot. How to buy top up credit. How to online shopping. How to shop alone. Speak bravely with strangers. I know none of this during high school. In fact this the real world out there.


I FEEL  THAT I BEEN LOOKED DOWN BY PEOPLE

I always do stupid things, who would want to respect such person. I always feel that I am being humiliated. People here didn’t trust me to do things.
FEEL RESPECTED BY FRIENDS

To be specific, by my classmates.

My housemate is slightly not because they know the truly me. I am a goofy myself. I am clumsy, a chicken, an awkward.

Conclusion: Be yourself, but don't really expose too much. People will look down at you. Eg: Aiman Tin*

Be controlled, but don’t be controlled to much. People annoyed you for try had. Eg: Asa* Motaw*

Be in between. Eg; Nabila* Razal*

Reference: Episode the Sherry Show with these 3 different artist. I know you remember this, dearself

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Its been quite a month I did not update any posts. The last time was during January. So here it goes.

Btw, this is just a post for my future self. Its gonna be quite cringy for anyone (except me) who read it. So, I hope that this post does not blow up in any social media (lol as if)

So, a few days ago, my class made a mini farewell party as we're all gonna part away soon (low key sad) then there is this "truth without dare" session. Everyone has to pick a question from this special box (this box is been passing around us in a circle) so somehow each one has their own Qs. AND they need to be honest.

One of the questions that I got,

"Which one do you prefer, guys with muscle or guys with a sense of humor?"

and straight away at that time, I answered that it will definitely guy with a sense of humor. Then they ask why I legit answered "yelaa muscles tu nak buat ape??!!" lolllll me and all of them burst into laughter. And there this one classmate ask " sape nak angkat tong gas?" and I was like " Alaa setakat tu Bangla pekerja tu boleh angkat" lolll me AGAIN. and again they also laugh at my answer

But that was my answer at that time. I mean I don't have a long time to answer it properly and you know with a serious answer. I mean we were having fun, so I only give the random answer.

Anywayyys, I actually have another answer. I mean the proper one.

For me, it doesn't matter how big your muscles are and how funny a guy can be.. if that guy cant take care of me properly, then all of those characteristics is automatic thrash!

Every girl in this world want to be truly loved by someone that can treat them really well, that can be nice to them all the time, that can be their superhero all the time, and can love them until eternity (LOL CRINGY I KNOW BUT LOL IM THE  ONLY ONE READING  IT SOOO FUCK IT)

Kalau jenis lawak, tapi perangai buruk, baik tak payah ( kata mudahnya hohohoo)

Those muscles and sense of humor is a bonus. And I know some guys have a hobby to build muscles, then nevermind. Continue and surely I will support it. I support everything for the one I loved. This also implies to my family and friend. I will always support them in anything.

Truly said, I'm not that kind of people that talk about love. I mean, it feels quite "euwww" to me when I think about it. But sometimes, things need to be said okayyy soooo...yea.

Bye and good night! Be yourself okay, everyone loves you. Ditch people who make you down, they don't deserve you.
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Hey peeps,

Today's post is basically about the highlight of week 7 as I thought this week is quite interesting.

First of all,
ITS BEEN SO LONG THAT I DONT WRITE ANY POST LOL :')

I've been quite busy actually, tried to catch up with my works and revising back few subtopics that I do not fully understand. Foundation guysss....tough life is it? No pain no gain sisturrr :')

1. The Asasi Games (TAG) 2017

It is like a tournament between the foundation of government university all over Malaysia. But first let me clear the air, I actually DO NOT participate in any of this game. HAAAA BOOYAH. Lol just basically highlighting this because it is the same concept as HKSBP anddddd I had met lots of my old friends that participated in that tournament. I mean, I just like the situation of having lots of visitors, get to meet back old friends, chilling lol. AND ALSO, there are also food trucks coming. RIP my money for that 2 freakin' days. I spent at least RM10 a day and it is only for food??!! ALIN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE LOL. But its kinda worth my tummy BUT NOT WORTH MY MONEY ITS FREAKING EXPENSIVE but lol it still buy it lmao ( the food I buy :
wantan cucuk, keropok lekor, nasi i-don't-know-what-type-is-it, samosa daging, burger bakar) Burger bakar lit nak mampos my ultimate favorite food

2. Met my elementary school friend (A)- male

 He participated in the tournament so that I manage to see him. So me and S (also my friend from elementary who is also studying in the same foundation as me) get to see him that night ( Saturday night) It was soooooooooooooooo fun I swear :') I'm not gonna tell the whole story of it as it was so exciting ( one of the happiest moment in my foundation life that I'm gonna remember ) until I want to tell even the little detail of the story, but its gonna be tiring for me, so NO I'm not gonna write it here. ( Insya Allah I will remember this moment forever- look how happy I am? lol)

3. The Greatest Showman movie

THIS MOVIE IS LIT AF. The plotline, the image quality, the sound effect, the songsss (THIS BITCH IS LIT TOOO) everything!! Together it makes the movie great as a whole. GOShhh it cost me RM19  for the tickets :') RIP (again) my money. I'm not gonna say its worth the money because it is still freaking mahal just for a movie fuck you. But anyway, the movie is lit dooo sumpah. If you want to watch it any movie website, it's not gonna be the same! Trust me lol

SO THATS IS ALL SISSSS

Its been so long that I don't have any highlights because my everyday life in foundation studies is PLAIN BORINGGG ALL I KNOW IS STUDY, REVISE BACK SUBJECTS, GETTING SLEEPY IN CLASS lollll. It is great that sometimes I have this kind of beautiful events that happen in my life. Thank you, Allah. He gives me happiness but not too much happiness so I don't get too attached to Dunya, but it is enough for me to balance with all the sadness and disappointment that I get through in the life of His plan. Oh Allah, indeed you are the best planner.

Be happy everyone and do good. Assalamualaikum and bye.










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Things that happened to me just now made me realize one thing:

The only person that you can rely the most on is only yourself

I don't want to recall back the event that happened as it might hurt my feeling a little just by thinking about it. So... to future me. Do you remember the event? If you do, then takes it as a reminder. But, if you don't, congratulations maybe this event doesn't actually impact you that much. (or maybe you were totally moved on). Also, this:

People are mean in their own way

No matter how kind that person that have you met in your life, they always have their bad side of them. It is just a reminder, that you always have to be careful. Humans are cunning. We never know what inside their heart. We never know their true intention. Again, the only person that you can rely the most on is yourself. So get prepared for anything that might happen in your life, so you don't trip and stumble down easily just because you live based on relying on someone else.

(I'm lowkey glad that event happened to me. Because, you know, Allah is indeed the best planner. You might don't like it, but the thing is, it is good for you. Who are we to even challenged the greatest planner, Allah the Almighty? Give it all to Allah, Allah will resolve it for you, Allah will help you.)

Just a reminder,
from past me

Assalamualaikum and have a nice day ahead.
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About me

About Me

Hey.

Quite socially awkward. Struggle to love herself.

Have a love-hate relationship with cats

Mediocre ukulele-ians and science nerds!



Here some more..

  • Question and My Opinion About Guys
  • Pengalaman Asasi Uitm Dengkil
  • The Development of Myself: High School and College
  • Highlight of Week 7 In My Foundation Life
  • Love Yourself!
  • Update of My Awkward Life
  • some motivations for you and me
  • Update for Week 2 in Uni
  • Essay :The presence of social media produce more negative effects that positive effects, Do you agree with this statement?

social media.

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